we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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