I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
