I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
