weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize