btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize