I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
