so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
