i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
