Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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