idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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