no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
