SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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