So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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