Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
