you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
