dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
