Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
