Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
