I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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