so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
