i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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