can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
