dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
