I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
