I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She bit a glass in half.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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