so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
