Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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