My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
