i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
