Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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