how can u be prego again
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
