I bet he comes in French.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
