Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
