Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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