I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
