I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
