I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
