I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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