Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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