True but thats because hes a fetus.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
