Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
