Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
