everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
a search helicopter?!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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