I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
