he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
