two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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