We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
