i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
