Yo dont text me then not text me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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