He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
