Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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