Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
