I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
