I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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