i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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