your thong is hanging out like whoa
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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