Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
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SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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